Healthy Dating 101: Examine your life; the choice is yours

There is a story about a probation officer that would ask every newly incarcerated inmate a simple, yet profound question. The question would not be the date that the person ended up in jail, but the point at which he or she began making wrong decisions in life. Often the young people would be speechless because they had never considered that their life of crime actually began with one singular act; one bad decision, which led to a downward spiral of making many destructive choices throughout their lives.

Now, hopefully, the relationship choices that you have made have not been this detrimental, or costly as the example above. However, taking a moment to be aware of how your decisions are impacting your life negatively or positively is beneficial if you are not getting the desired results. If there is any question if your dating relationship is healthy or not, try this self-aware exercise. On a clean sheet of paper, make two columns, drawing a line vertically down the page. While in a quiet place, as quickly as you can, write down the disadvantages on the left and the advantages on the right. Remember this is for you, so be as honest as you can. After you finish, seriously consider what you wrote. If there are more negatives then positives, then your gut (i.e. that awareness or truth center) may be telling you something very important about the health of your current dating relationship.

By taking the time to be self-aware in dating and in life in general, you can contemplate a course of action before deciding to make that first decision you may later regret. Similarly, if you have started on a downward spiral that is not getting you the relationships you want and deserve, then today you can choose an alternative path. The choice is ultimately yours.