Be Your Own Life Coach Series: Your Lens of You; It Impacts Your World

The lens you have of you impacts your world. This is a great example. It all started quite innocently with one woman stepping accidentally on another lady’s shoes. Apparently, this brief encounter started a life changing conversation that eventually led to the worldview the second person had of herself.  “You speak rather negatively about you.” “Yeah, I know, that is me just being me. I have always been hard on myself. That is just the way I am. Oh, by the way, all of my family members are like this also.” At first, let’s call her Sarah was completely unsettled by her life coach challenging her notion of her ‘just the way I am’ ideology. Unknowingly, this judgmental view had deeply influenced every aspect of her life without her even realizing it.  

Many people, like Sarah, unfortunately walk around with these negative lenses of themselves and others, unaware of the harm it produces. Most, if all have no comprehension that somewhere between the ages of 0-7, these deeply-rooted belief systems form in us. Similarly, as in Sarah’s situation, they claim that this is just the way they are, but is this the truth though or mere interpretation? More importantly, is this your truth? Do you possess a negative world lens of yourself that prevents you from living life to the fullest? Let’s find out. A good indicator is to ask yourself what you deserve. If immediately thoughts of being unworthy are driven up, you have your answer. Another way to discern a negative self-lens is to be aware of how you judge others; especially those whom you first meet. Notice what you notice. If you can defensively disqualify someone from being in your life too quickly, a negative world lens may be the culprit. The best indicator, however, is to analyze your thought life. If you aggressively search for the bad instead of the good in yourself or another, this says something more about you then them. All of these signs can indicate that you have a negative state of mind in the driver’s seat of your life.   

After the time necessary being deeply reflective and personally accountable to discover the answer, you come to the conclusion that this is indeed the case, what can you do? First, be thankful that you have become aware of your need to change. Acknowledging a problem catalyzes breakthroughs. Once you have developed the maturity to begin to spot negative patterns in your behavior and thinking, rest assured you are moving in the right direction. Having a journal available for capturing your thoughts helps you discover those innermost notions. Notice how you talk to yourself. Once awareness has begun, don’t ignore or be afraid of your new world understanding. Congratulate yourself for having the courage to see what you could not for years. Give yourself permission to be with whatever is there. Next, be purposeful in filling your mind with good things to say about you. Start by writing down a list of all of the things you like about yourself. Brainstorm if need be. Use silly things to jog your mind, like appreciating the way you butter your toast all the way to the edges. Lastly, decide to have positive people in your life. Eliminate being around negative individuals that put you and others down. Instead, spend time with those cheerleaders that believe in you. Implementing a few positive steps in time will support you greatly in removing a negative world lens.  

 A negative world lens is often so powerful because you are completely unaware of the way it hinders your life. Once you get rid of these limiting thoughts through positive self-talk, awareness strategies, and being around positive influences, the world will begin to look radically different than it was before.