Be Your Own Life Coach Series: Play Again

Children play. That is what they do.  Their summers consist of constantly being outside on the jungle gym, riding bikes, blowing pussy willows in the breeze, and collecting lightening bugs in a punched-hole jar. Once they are finally set free from the constraints of the indoors, it is rather common to hear gleeful laughter, as they run around exuberantly expending all of their energy, focused on one thing: the present moment.  In fact, it is rather difficult to pulls kids away once they become engaged with these activities. They need their play time. This is for sure.  

When we become adults; however, somehow this youthful vitality of being playful often gets eliminated from our lives. We become too serious. Being lighthearted and present often gets negated by busyness, taxing schedules, and drama. Over time, this constant neglect impacts our dating relationships negatively. If this is true in your dating relationship, what can you do to avoid these unwanted consequences?  How can you keep your dating relationship fresh and alive by incorporating play again? Great question, I am glad you asked. The first lesson we can learn from children is to have fun. Analyze the time spent with your partner. If you discover that you are bored or not looking forward to being together, ask yourself how can you add more fun into the partnership? It may help you to remember the things you and your boyfriend/girlfriend used to enjoy. Recall those things that made you laugh. If you need inspiration, watch a funny movie that you like, read the comics, or observe a little child laugh unabashedly. Notice what you notice. How does it feel to laugh without restraint; when you are so immersed in the moment you forget the time? If being bored is the issue, decide to add novelty by leaving the house and doing something different with your partner. When you are finally together, think about being as present as when children are playing. Give yourself wholeheartedly to the experience. Pay special attention to your boyfriend or girlfriend’s needs like you used to in the beginning of your relationship. Say the silly, sweet things you used to say. Dote over him or her. If you decide to do these things and add play back into your dating life, it will be sweeter in the long run.  

As adults, it is also important to be playful in our dating relationships. If that area has slipped or been ignored due to the demands of life or other circumstances, make a decision to change. Then, you and your boyfriend or girlfriend can be kids again.