Hurry to be Late

Are you the kind of person who’s on time for appointments, work, etc.? Or do you constantly breeze in a few minutes or more late?

Last month, Greg Savage riffed on the topic “How Did It Get to Be 'OK' for People to Be Late for Everything?” in the Huffington Post, pointing out what I’ve seen in our area: that more and more people are simply not making much of an effort to be on time.

As a child, my parents had a thing about arriving a few minutes before an appointment or the start of an event. While they didn’t articulate this in so many words, the underlying principle at work was that being on time showed the others—doctors, coaches, etc.—that you valued them, that you respected them enough to make sure you arrived when expected.

When I was a teenager in a youth group, one family consistently arrived late. If the youth leader said to arrive at 6 a.m. to leave for camp, that family would pull into the parking lot at 6:20 or later. No matter how many times the youth leader said the bus would leave exactly at 6 a.m., he would wait for those kids to arrive.

What that showed the rest of us who had made it there on time was that we weren’t as important as that one family. What it showed that family was that they always got a “pass” on being late—making them always show up late.

How does this tie in to parenting? To me, it’s all part of our culture of the almighty “me.” Since I’m more important than anyone else in the world, why should I keep an eye on the clock and try to be on time? And let’s not forget that a person who thinks only of herself is not a person one generally wants to know.

Being late impacts our kids, too. It teaches them that time is more fluid than it really is. If teachers continually give extensions for projects, then deadlines are meaningless. If parents typically leave the house when the event is scheduled to begin, then a start time is only a suggestion. But we all know that time is more static, that once it’s gone you can never get it back.

One aspect of time management we don’t usually discuss is that being on time is a good thing. It shows respect to others, it helps us keep on track and it provides a good work ethic. On the other hand, being late all the time can teach our kids disrespect for others, a disregard for the preciousness of time, and an increase in self-centeredness.

While the holiday season is underway, let’s all make a pledge to make more of an effort be on time. The more people who are not late, the more time you might find you have—and the better citizens you will raise in your children.

Early in 2014, Sarah and Mary Elizabeth Peritti will speak on Parenting With Love & Leadership in a four-part webinar series. Contact Sarah through her website for more information.

Do you have a parenting question you would like to see answered on this blog? Email Sarah with Parenting Question in the subject line. Sign up for Practical Parenting, Sarah and Mary Elizabeth’s a free, monthly e-newsletter with commonsense advice on child rearing, by visiting www.parentcoachnova.com and clicking on the newsletter tab.

Sarah Hamaker is a certified Leadership Parenting Coach™ through the Rosemond Leadership Parenting Coach Institute. She’s also a freelance writer and editor. Sarah lives in Fairfax, Va., with her husband and four children. Visit her online at www.parentcoachnova.com and follow her on Twitter @novaparentcoach.