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Business & Tech

They Do Exist! Fairfax 'Geeks' Ordered to Cease, Desist for Unicorn Meat

National Pork Board bristles over "The New White Meat."

A Fairfax-based online "geek" store received a cease and desist order this summer for one of its special products–a product that didn't actually exist.

In May the National Pork Board sent a letter complaining about ThinkGeek.com's use of the phrase "The New White Meat"–a slight alteration of "The Other White Meat" which the NPB owns internationally. The product in question was, of all things, Canned Unicorn Meat– one of ThinkGeek's April Fool's Day jokes.

ThinkGeek revealed the order on its blog in late June, praising it.

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"Recently we got the best-ever cease and desist letter," said web designer Carrie. "It's 12 pages long and very well-researched (except on one point). It even includes screengrabs of the offending item from our site."

Close examination of the product should reveal its nature as a parody. However, getting (or not getting) the joke has little to do with the process of sending the order.

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"They just monitor for infringements of all the trademarks," said NPB marketing VP Ceci Snyder, describing cease and desist letters as a process not entirely manual. "They have to show proof of protection."

ThinkGeek PR Manager Shane Peterman agreed. "They have to protect their trademarks."

The issue didn't make it much further than a simple talk between ThinkGeek's lawyers and the NPB, much less to court or an actual suit. This also isn't the first cease and desist ThinkGeek has received – only the first one they got for a fake product.

To resolve the issue, the blog post said that ThinkGeek's use of "The Other White Meat" is protected as parody. That and the fact that ThinkGeek wasn't selling anything using the phrase to begin with put it under fair use of copyrighted material.

"Luckily, the Sisters at Radiant Farms, where the unicorns are nursed through old age before being slaughtered, canned, and brought to market at ThinkGeek, have nothing to worry about," Carrie said.

ThinkGeek posted a press release officially apologizing to the NPB.

"It was never our intention to cause a national crisis and misguide American citizens regarding the differences between the pig and the unicorn," said ThinkGeek President Scott Kauffman in the release. "In fact, ThinkGeek's canned unicorn meat is sparkly, a bit red, and not approved by any government entity."

Further in jest, the blog announced the coupon code "PORKBOARD" which until the end of June took $10 off any order of $40 or more.

This comes with the territory for ThinkGeek's lawyers; they work for a company that sells products that parry cultural touchstones like Harley Davison and the light cycles from "Tron."

"They know it's something they're gonna run into being our lawyers," Peterman said. He predicts that this won't be the last letter ThinkGeek gets, as the experience hasn't put them off spoofs like this at all.

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